The last few years have been a time of increasing polarization and division. Conversations sometimes turn into shouting matches. Some people simply turn their back on anyone who disagrees with them. We see that happen quite often on social media, as people un-friend others. That may happen because of a political statement that someone doesn’t agree with. Or a person may get un-friended for sharing offensive humor or derogatory comments about others. And during 2021 that trend seems to have accelerated. People are cutting one another out of their lives at an alarming rate.
It’s a painful thing to un-friend someone. Because we have to acknowledge that, at one time, this person was a friend. We shared some of our lives with them, and they shared with us. We thought we had a good relationship. But then something happened. They posted something that we couldn’t go along with, or they reacted negatively to something that we posted. And once that happened, we simply cut the ties.
Is there a better way to handle those times of serious disagreement? As spiritual people, we have access to some important insights that might guide us. We come to recognize that we all have a common bond as people: imperfect, sometimes wrong, often in need of correction. But we also lift up the common bond that we have as people who bear a sacred light, people created in the image of God, people who have the possibility of being better and doing better.
And so the spiritual journey challenges us to continue to love others, even if we have a hard time with their words or actions. Mahatma Gandhi fought intensely against the colonial oppression of the British, but he did so with love for everyone that he encountered. Dr. Martin Luther King Junior led the fight for civil rights, but he was quick to emphasize that the battle required him to love the people on the other side. At one point he spoke these famous words: “darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate can’t drive out hate. Only love can do that.”
In these challenging times, I hope that we as spiritual people can resist the temptation to un-friend those we disagree with. Instead of turning our back, perhaps we can embrace the common ground that we have, as people who are worthy of respect and kindness and compassion, people who can do better and be better than where we are now.
I hope that gives you some food for spiritual thought.
Larry Lindstrom has been the Multifaith Campus Chaplain at Sinclair since 2016. He provides programs on different faith traditions and encourages students, faculty, and staff to explore their spiritual journey. Lindstrom also serves the college as the liaison for the office of LGBTQ+ Support. You can contact him at larry.lindstrom@sinclair.edu.