• Wed. May 15th, 2024

How to be healthy

Living a healthy life is important when you’re a college student.

We are busy people trying to balance papers, exams and social obligations. It’s hard to remember all of the things we need to do keep our bodies in balance, too.

Here are a few tips for when you need a reminder.

When you’re hungry, salads are pretty good for you, but they can get pretty boring.

So, you should definitely go for the meatiest, greasiest food item readily available. It’s going to taste fantastic, and you’ll feel so bloated that you won’t even bother with that paper you need to write. Or you could write it and get it greasy, too.

Speaking of food, eat all the carbs. They taste the best. Pasta. Potatoes. Whatever.

There are also plenty of health nuts that think cooking meals at home means you’ll eat healthier. Psh, wrong.

If you’re like me and can’t cook to save your life, just eat out all the time. White Castle and Taco Bell have healthy options like those tiny burgers and Doritos tacos.

Bonus points: it’s called “fast” food for a reason. So, you can get it quick and get back to the studying.

Water is also an option for being healthy, but it’s literally the most un-flavorful thing imaginable. Drink a lot of soft drinks instead.

Doctors say you should also cut back on sweets and sugary snacks. I say you should eat them all. You’ll get a sugar rush for cramming all that knowledge for your tests.

After your sugar rush, you’re probably going to want to crash and take a nap.

That’s fine. Sleep for like 12 hours. There’s nothing wrong with that. Who says we only need seven to eight hours of sleep as adults? Not the smart people!

According to the medical professionals, we also need to exercise and walk more to be healthy.

Meh. No one wants to do that. I say you should just go ahead and be lazy. Lay in bed and watch Netflix, or you could at least be a good student and work on that paper you’ve been meaning to start.

While you’re inside being lazy, you’re also avoiding that dreaded sunlight and fresh air. Apparently the sun gives you vitamin C and the fresh air is just “good for you.”

I beg to differ! I don’t want to be outside getting hot and sweaty. Plus, if you have allergies the fresh air is not so fresh. Just continue to stay inside and never see the light of day.

If you do like to be tan though, I suppose a tanning bed is an option for you. Again, these are not good for you, but if you do use one make sure you lather yourself in all the lotion. A whole bottle should be sufficient.

“It puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again.”

My last tip for being healthy involves not smoking cigarettes. This is seriously one of the worst habits to start. Just don’t do it. There is no joke here.

I, on the other hand, do smoke. So, it’s like the pot calling kettle black. It’s my gross habit; I’m allowed one.

Just remember that being healthy is important to your education because you can’t study and write those papers if you’re dying.

Also, I am not a professional in any kind of medical field. I wouldn’t take all of these health tips seriously if I were you.

Brittany Fletcher
Designer/Intern