• Sun. May 5th, 2024

How to be a supervillain

Being a superhero isn’t a job that everyone wants. Some people just enjoy being bad. They like to cause mischief and commit crimes.

I’m not saying that I advocate these things, but sometimes you just want to be the supervillain of your action-packed life.

Since I gave you the “best” life advice on becoming a superhero last week, this week is about the exact opposite.

First, unlike heroes, you don’t need a superpower. There are plenty of villains without them. Some villains just commit super crimes like extortion and running a mob. Other villains do have powers, but if you’re looking for that I’d refer back to the superhero how to because it’s the same basic concept on how to obtain those.

Now you need to work on your evil laugh. For some reason, most villains have an evil laugh. I don’t understand this, but I suppose it’s funny to thwart your nemesis.

Your laugh needs to be more of a “mua-hahahaha” rather than a “heeheehee.” Or you could go with a cackle instead of a giggle. You should practice and figure out what works for you.

You’re also going to need some backstory on why you are so evil. Did someone hurt you in the past, specifically the superhero of your story? Are you trying to seek vengeance on someone? Did someone hurt a family member or friend of yours?

These are all important questions. They will help you determine what kind of crime sprees to get into.

You’ll need to build up your persistence and determination. The superhero almost always wins, but you must remember to never give up and keep trying. Does the Joker give up when Batman sends him to Arkham Asylum? Does Loki ever stop being a mischievous pest?

The answer is NO. These villains know what it means to never stop going after their dreams. You’ll learn that, too. I have faith in you.

Now this next part is a bit weird, but just hear me out.

You don’t have to be pretty to be a supervillain. There are plenty of unattractive villains, like Wilson Fisk from ‘Daredevil’ or Thanos from ‘Guardians of the Galaxy.’

My point is that villains are accepted by their brethren no matter what. You can have flowing locks like Loki or be bald like Fisk. You have a very blue alien head like Thanos or you can be an old gent like Magneto.

(Superheroes can’t say the same about themselves because, for some odd reason, most of them are highly attractive.) Last, but not least, you need henchmen or minions. (No, I don’t mean the little yellow jellybeans from ‘Despicable Me.’)

You need some semi-mindless people or aliens or whatever to help you achieve your plans. These henchmen are useful for helping build devices and execute get-away plans.

If the Justice League comes after you, you’re going to want to help from some your henchmen.

Overall, even if no one liked me because I was the villain of my action story, I’d still choose that over being a hero.

I wouldn’t have to be picture-perfect for the civilians, and I wouldn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations (except my own.) I think it would be great.

In fact, if any of you have some cool supervillain (or superhero) ideas send them to me at clarion@sinclair.edu.

Brittany Fletcher
Creative Director