This week’s installment of ‘How To’ actually features a step-by-step on accomplishing something.
I’m going to give you the best advice possible on how to stalk your prey. This advice can be applied to both animals and people, but for the sake of simplicity you are a beautiful, strong lion and the prey is gazelle.
We’re learning things this week!
The first step is probably the most obvious. You need to find the best prey.
Now you need to watch and study your prey.
Does your gazelle graze in one particular spot every day? Does your gazelle eat only fruits and veggies, or is it one of those weird ones that only eats peanut butter?
You won’t know until you watch them from afar. (That’s the key, by the way. Be afaaaar.)
Speaking of watching from afar, the next thing you need to do is creep. Hard.
Get on your gazelle’s Facebook page and Twitter feed. Read and look at all the things. Become one with their social media without actually responding to anything.
Be the ultimate creeper.
Now comes the time for some subtle action.
You’re going to start making awkward eye contact.
At this point you should have the creeping and watching from afar down pat. This is probably the time where your gazelle has felt eyes on him or her. You’re going to use that to your advantage.
When the gazelle turns to look at your gorgeous lion mane, make quick eye contact then look away!
It’s like when Nemo touched the butt. It was quick but meaningful. You are Nemo and the eye contact is the touching of the butt.
By this time, you should have your gazelle’s routine memorized. If you don’t, you need to.
If you were doing the creeping and watching properly, you’ve probably followed the gazelle around the desert enough to know where their favorite spots are.
You will use this to insert yourself in the gazelle’s life by being around during gazelle’s social time.
You will use this time and these places to establish the gazelle’s routine.
Where does the gazelle learn new things with wiser gazelle’s? Where does the gazelle eat with his/her gazelle friends?
Use your mass lion brain to figure it out.
Now is the time to get gutsy. You are a lion, remember?
Start walking around and near the gazelle. You’re working on the courage to pounce now.
You want the gazelle to not only feel your eyes on him/her but start catching your lion(ness) scent.
You have a sweet musk to match your flowing mane. Make the gazelle aware of that. Let the gazelle know who is boss. (It’s you by the way. You are the boss.)
You’re also going to inadvertently catch the gazelle’s scent. Obsess over it. Period. You want that scent.
We’re getting close to the final countdown. You need to work on your sneaking skills.
Think ahead and watch your step.
You don’t want to step on twigs and make a lot of noise. Be subtle and sneak around the back of the gazelle.
Then pounce!
Attack the gazelle with all of your lion prowess. Make the gazelle submit to your lion ways. You are the king (or queen) of this concrete jungle.
Now you have a new gazelle to enjoy life with… Or you know, munch on since that’s what lion’s really do with their wild selves.
Just remember the key factors for stalking your prey: stay out of sight until the moment’s right, be patient and be sneaky.
Brittany Fletcher
Designer/Intern