TransHearts was established in Dayton in January as a support group for transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. The founder, Sabrina Ray, has firsthand experience with the process of finding resources as a trans woman, and wants to make the path easier for other community members.
Ray grew up in a rural part of Darke County where there were rigid expectations of masculinity and femininity. She recalls hearing adults gossip about “cross-dressers” and questioning why it mattered.
“I never really understood it, because I’m like, they’re just a person dressing how they want,” she said. “What’s the big deal?”
Ray’s early transition started as a spiritual experience after being baptized at 15 years old.
“I always remember people telling me, ‘Once you get baptized your eyes open to the greater world,’” she said. “And my eyes did open. Not to the degree that they wanted, though, which was that, ‘Oh, this doesn’t really make sense. Why are we being hateful to these people? There’s nothing in the book about these people. Why are we treating people this way?’”
This led her to dive into spiritual studies from a multitude of traditions across the globe, which helped her build confidence in her own connection.
“Having that spiritual connection really helped me, because that almost emboldens me in a way,” she said. “I have my relationship with the universe, and the universe is telling me I’m doing pretty damn good.”
It wasn’t until she moved to Dayton that Ray had her “a-ha moment.”
“Oh, I’m trans, and this is the thing I’ve been dealing with my whole life,” she said of her realization. “And I had to do it all in secret because of my family not being super supportive.”
Ray said she was fortunate to have employment, insurance, an affirming therapist and supportive friends, but knew that not everyone would have this experience. She enjoyed the existing support groups in Dayton, but felt there needed to be a different approach.
The creation of TransHearts was catalyzed in part by the death of a local community member, Abi Bean.
“That was something that really stuck to me,” Ray said. “I don’t know, firstly, if she would have come to this group. I don’t know if she would have come to this group, if she would have talked about the struggle she was going through. But I just think about those people who are struggling and need that support.”
Ray stressed that TransHearts is not a replacement for therapy, but can provide a place to talk for people who do not have access to a therapist.
Both Ray and her fiancee, Nova, use their experience as Registered Behavior Technicians to inform how they run TransHearts, leaving groups on a positive note despite digging into heavy and possibly traumatic topics.
“We do what’s called an affirming checkout at the end of our session,” Ray said. “So that can be something as simple as, ‘Hey, what’s something that happened since last meeting that was affirming to you? What’s a win that you had? What’s just a positive, what movie did you watch this week that you really liked?’ That way we can come back down, we can deescalate a little bit.”
The first meeting of TransHearts was on Feb. 5, and Ray said the community response has far surpassed her expectations.
“The overwhelming positivity and support I’ve gotten across organizations, across individuals, literally blows me away,” she said. “I was so nervous about it, and to have so many people who email us, who message us on our social media, who are like, ‘This is something we’ve wanted in the area for a long time, and this is something that is very helpful.’”
Ray said safety is TransHearts’ “number one priority,” even saying that at times she will “overthink” safety for group members. This includes both physical safety and digital confidentiality.
With this in mind, attendees can opt out of the sign-in sheet or write down any name they prefer, and the meeting’s room number is not publicly released. The TransHearts website also includes an “escape” button that redirects to Google when clicked, and Ray said they do not collect any unnecessary data from visitors.
“We can’t afford to not be on the same page, and we can’t afford to not be there for each other.”
SABRINA RAY
Outside of the group, Ray wants cisgender people to understand that “we’re navigating this, too.” She said the current political climate is “traumatic and exhausting,” and that it’s important for people with privilege to amplify trans voices. She said allies are often afraid of slipping up or misgendering people, but that doesn’t mean they should stop trying.
“We don’t expect you to become, like, Ph.D.-level trans allies, but we are kind of hoping you can help us,” she said.
Ray said she hopes to see TransHearts grow and promote more unity in coming years, within the trans community and between all people.
“We can’t really afford not to be on the same page, and we can’t afford to not be there for each other,” she said. “My biggest goal with the entire organization is community and bringing it together… That’s the most important thing to me and what we’re really pushing toward.”
Hannah Kichline, multimedia editor
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