Dear Michael Bloomberg: Please Go Away

Former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg. (nycmayorsoffice / Flickr)

Despite no voters asking him to (except for some at the top of America’s economic ladder), billionaire and former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg has officially thrown his hat into the race for 2020.

Bloomberg’s decision to run serves as no surprise to those who’ve been keeping a close eye on the Democratic primary for the past few months. Though Joe Biden still has a strong lead in the race, the vice president’s low fundraising numbers have been making the establishment class concerned about a possible Elizabeth Warren (the best-case scenario for centrists if the race’s moderates lose) or Bernie Sanders (who they absolutely don’t want to win) nomination.

The rumors began floating around last month, shortly after October’s Democratic debate. A group of high-profile donors were brainstorming possible replacements if Biden’s campaign were to crash and burn. Among the names discussed were Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bloomberg himself. Evidently, the corporatists within the Democratic party have found what they perceive to be their back-up plan.

In a way, upon reading the news last week, I was both surprised and not surprised. Prior to Bloomberg announcing that he was entering the race, the mainstream media had spent their time fixating on the campaign of South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg, framing him as a sort of young, fresh-faced liberal with the possibility of getting a late surge in the polls à la Barack Obama in 2008.

I was surprised because my firm belief was that Buttigieg already was the elite’s Plan B in case Biden ran out of steam. However, I was also not surprised due to the fact that the Democratic establishment will do everything in their power to retain said power under the guise of “common sense” policies, all while netting kickbacks from corporate-funded PACs and ensuring the backroom business interests of those who benefit from the bland, toothless, surface-level policies espoused by the Clinton/Obama/Biden/Schumer/Pelosi cadre.

Cake for the billionaires, crumbs for the working class.

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And now Bloomberg, of all people, with more than enough money to buy his own private island (similar to Jeffrey Epstein, who owned an island and had Bloomberg’s name in his “little black book” of business contacts), feels compelled to make his case for president of the United States.

Bloomberg isn’t the only billionaire in the running. Tom Steyer, a hedge fund manager whose rhetoric has mostly revolved around the threat of climate change and ousting President Trump from office, began his campaign last Summer on July, 9 and joined the other candidates onstage during the October debate. Currently polling at barely 1% in multiple polls, I expect him to drop out soon.

It’s pointless, vanity-filled campaigns such as these which make me say the following: Dear Michael Bloomberg, please go away.

Though you haven’t graced the debate stage yet, I already know what to expect. You’ll undoubtedly tout your record as an entrepreneur and business mogul as key indicators that you know what it takes to lead and be successful. You’ll throw some darts at Trump, leading to a petty back-and-forth on Twitter between two of America’s elites. If asked by the debate moderators why American citizens should vote for (another) billionaire, you’ll ramble off some prepared response and opine about “the beauty and genius of American capitalism” or some other nonsense.

When pressed about your list of past sexist remarks toward women, you’ll concoct a half-hearted apology, taking the wise approach to not double down by providing excuses or deflecting toward the current Commander-In-Chief’s less-than-stellar reputation with women.

When asked about your support of “stop and frisk” policing despite it leading to police officers targeting black and brown people throughout the city of New York, you’ll defend it by filibustering about how it led to a drop in the city’s crime rate, even though the rate has continued to diminish years after the controversial method’s implementation was ended.

As the months fly by, you’ll eventually drop out after managing to secure no more than 3% of the vote (if you’re lucky) regardless of the ridiculous headlines the mainstream media will publish to put you in a positive light. After that, you’ll make the rounds on cable news and endorse whichever Wall Street, super PAC walking suit that tickles your fancy.

Maybe you joined because you fear that Biden will screw up and you’re aware of how the average prospective voter doesn’t care for Buttigieg. Incensed at Sanders’ and Warren’s policy proposals which present a threat to your $50 billion dollar net worth, you figured that you would serve as a buffer in 2020.

Here’s a news flash: You don’t care about the average American. You haven’t released any of your policy proposals yet, but I’m willing to bet that you don’t support Medicare for All and that you definitely—definitely—don’t support higher taxes on your wealthy compatriots such as Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos, who urged you to run a few months ago.

We already have a billionaire in the Oval Office, Mr. Bloomberg. And seeing what’s transpired since the last election, we certainly don’t need another.

Footage of several of the Democratic primary contenders responding to Bloomberg’s announcement. (Source: ABC News / YouTube)

Quinton Bradley
Contributing Writer

Quinton Bradley is an Ohio-based writer. He runs a blog called Hammers and Papyrus and can be followed on Twitter @QBAbstract.

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