Jeri’s Jackpot: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grunch

An artist's rendition of the creature. (YouTube/Cryptid Caravan)

No, that’s not a typo. While you might be thinking of the green hairy creature from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” we’re instead going to talk about a different green creature. Imagine a Chupacabra. Then imagine that a canine-looking Chupacabra mated with a weird giant lizard and the Grunch is their baby. Sounds weird right? Well, that’s what makes the Grunch so interesting. 

Formally known as the Grunch Road Monster, the Grunch is a legend of New Orleans. His origin story can vary based on who you ask. However, the most common story is that during the creation of the city now known as New Orleans, the dwarves and albinos and other ‘evil creatures’ thought to roam the thickly wooded areas, retreated to live under a bridge. The group, unable to live amongst normal society, began to inbreed and thus, the Grunch was born. A creature of pure rage and terror.

Eventually, the road became known as Grunch Road and for a long while everyone forgot about the creatures there. Then, farm animals and people began to go missing, as well as reports of strange creatures popping up and low and behold, the Grunch was blamed!

There’s a rumor that if you travel along Grunch Road, you may find an injured deer. If you get out of your car to help the animal, the Grunch will attack you and drain your blood and devour your body.

A completely different origin story links the Grunch to Marie Laveau and the Devil Baby. The story goes that she accidentally created the Grunch when she castrated the Devil Baby to stop him from reproducing. The testicles became sentient and turned into a male and female Grunch, which then attacked the VooDoo Queen. When she awoke, the Devil Baby and the Grunches had disappeared.

A look at the full history of the Grunch. (YouTube/Cryptid Caravan)

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Another tale states that anyone bitten by the Devil Baby will turn into a Grunch when a full moon appears, much like a werewolf.

The Grunch is said to be very goat-like in appearance, with leathery scales and spines along its back, measuring in at roughly three to four feet tall, and has eyes that glow either reddish-orange or bluish-green, depending on the source. It drains it’s victim’s blood and possibly organs through a single hole.

It’s said that the Grunch can use tools, open doors and emits a low wolf-like howl or sometimes, a banshee-like scream. Some reports have said it can even talk in a low growl. The Grunch has an odor much like Bigfoot as well.

Sightings of the Grunch can be traced back to the early 1800s with a drop off in the 1980s. It was revived in the 2000s, after Hurricane Katrina. People claimed to see them in droves after the Hurricane, eating from trash cans and chasing cats. One woman claimed it ate her neighbor’s dog.

So does the Grunch really exist? No one may ever know. But a word of warning, if you ever go to New Orleans, keep your eyes keen for the wicked beast of green.

Jeri Hensley
Reporter

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