{"id":13805,"date":"2016-09-12T10:35:14","date_gmt":"2016-09-12T15:35:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/?p=13805"},"modified":"2017-06-27T08:06:32","modified_gmt":"2017-06-27T13:06:32","slug":"how-to-be-southern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/tartan-news\/2016\/09\/12\/how-to-be-southern\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be Southern"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Being from the Southern states of the grand ol\u2019 US of A is like being from a whole different part of the world sometimes. Us Southerners are often mocked for saying words like \u2018ice\u2019 and it sounded like, well, another word for \u2018butt.\u2019 There is a lot more to being Southern than just dropping G\u2019s off the ends of words and drinking gallons of liquid diabetes, also known as sweet tea. If you want to feel like a genuine Southern, here\u2019s a few tips for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Let\u2019s start with how you should talk. As previously mentioned, drop your \u201cG\u2019s\u201d and change \u201cI\u2019s\u201d to \u201cA\u2019s\u201d. Swinging becomes swangin\u2019. Drinking is now drankin\u2019. Y\u2019all is your new favorite word. Another great word to add your Southern vocabulary is \u2018holler.\u2019 If someone tells you to go \u201cgo on over thur to the holler,\u201d they want you to go to the backwoods valley somewhere.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0You\u2019re still going to need your own personal Southern dictionary, but you\u2019ve got the basics. You\u2019re not truly Southern until you get the manners and hospitality down pat. Our sweet Southern charm is what make us so darn likeable. Step one: always say please and thank you. Let\u2019s just be decent people here, okay? Step two: hold doors open for other people. Step three: if you\u2019re at someone else\u2019s house, always ask before you reach into their fridge. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Now we need to work on your wardrobe. If you want to dress like a Southerner, ladies you could take it old-school and go buy a dozen hoop skirts. The south still acts like they\u2019re living in the dark ages, might as well dress like it, too. Guys, you can be a bit more modern, but you\u2019re still limited to some kind of boots (cowboy or farming) and anything made by Levi\u2019s, Wranglers or Carhart.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Hey, you\u2019re talkin\u2019 and dressin\u2019 the part now, so let\u2019s get you goin\u2019 out somewhere for some fun. What do people in the south do? There are a thousand farms in the south. If you want to be a legit Southerner, buy any large piece of land you can find and start growing something, preferably tobacco or raising cattle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0There are a lot of fairs in the south, too; typically people go to these to see tractor pulls and win \u201cBest in Show\u201d awards. (A tractor pull is literally a tractor pulling heavy things. It\u2019s a blast\u2026. Except that it\u2019s really not.) Any lady who is any lady wants a blue ribbon, \u201cBest in Show\u201d prize for her award-winning pecan (pronounced pea-can) pie. As for the gents, they tend to go out deer hunting and bass fishing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Let\u2019s move on to what you should eat and drink if you want to be from the south. Anything buttery, fried and greasy is appropriate good eats. Everything in the south is either going to clog your arteries or put you in a diabetic coma; it\u2019s truly a delicious place.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0As for your beverages of choice, that\u2019s pretty limited. Sweet tea is the most common. Aside from that, if someone asks if you want a Coke, what they\u2019re really asking is if you want a soda (or pop.) Everything is Coke if you\u2019re from the south. Dr. Pepper is Coke. Sprite is Coke. Pepsi is Coke. If it ain\u2019t sweet tea, it\u2019s Coke. If you\u2019re more into the finer things of life, liquor, you have two choices \u2013 whiskey and moonshine. Period.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Is there anything else you need to know to be a walkin\u2019, talkin\u2019 Southerner? Well, there\u2019s a couple of things. Put everything in Mason jars. Jams, jellies, food, drinks, candles. Everything! Smoke Marlboro cigarettes; they\u2019re called cowboy killers in the south. (I don\u2019t condone smoking. It\u2019s bad for your lungs, and you need those to breathe.) It\u2019s also really important, if you want to be a Southerner, to never drive in the snow. In the south, snowfall is the Devil\u2019s rain; it\u2019s the apocalypse. Just act like the world is ending and don\u2019t leave the house. As much as I hate to say it, general prejudice is a thing in the south, too. They just pick groups of people and hate them. I don\u2019t advise that though; it isn\u2019t very becoming of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Overall, being Southern is a way of life. I love being from the south even with all its flaws. Southern folk are friendly and sweeter than their tea.<\/span><\/p>\n

Brittany Fletcher<\/strong><\/p>\n

Designer\/Intern<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Being from the Southern states of the grand ol\u2019 US of A is like being from a whole different part of the world sometimes. Us Southerners are often mocked for saying words like \u2018ice\u2019 and it sounded like, well, another word for \u2018butt.\u2019 There is a lot more to being Southern than just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10290,"featured_media":13780,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[1975,1455,1384,1456],"class_list":["post-13805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tartan-news","tag-brittany-fletcher","tag-how-to","tag-opinion","tag-southern"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"cc_featured_image_caption":{"caption_text":false,"source_text":false,"source_url":false},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5s3vR-3AF","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Britt-Website.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10290"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13805"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13805\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13806,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13805\/revisions\/13806"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13780"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}