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Dear Gabby, <\/p>\nDear Gabby, <\/p>\n
This is confused soul; I have been battling my change of heart and emotions with my current boyfriend. We unexpectedly met on New Year\u2019s Eve. The moment we met each other we instantly clicked and felt a spark between us. We ended up pursuing a relationship where things started off easy and fun, but slowly taking a turn for the worst.
\nI\u2019m not sure how to handle this situation. The more our relationship continues, the more serious it becomes. The problem is I am concerned about us having a successful future together. He is a nice and loving man, but doesn\u2019t know what he wants in life and doesn\u2019t seem to have the motivation to run after it. After dropping out of college, gaining a lot of debt, and being forced to work two jobs and live paycheck to paycheck, it has put him in a hard spot\u2014which has put financial pressure on me.
\nI have been patient and supportive, and have done everything I can to motivate him to go back to school. However, as much as he would like to go back, between having two jobs to pay off so much debt at 21 years of age, there is just no time for school. This is a problem because I don\u2019t see myself marrying him, as I once did. I don\u2019t know what to do because I love him and I want to be in his life, but I need to do not only what\u2019s best for me, but what\u2019s going to better me. How do you tell your boyfriend that you love him, but you can\u2019t be together?
\nSincerely,
\nConfused Love
\n<\/p>\n
Dear Confused Love, <\/p>\n
As hard as it may be, love alone might not be able to hold a relationship together. I think it\u2019s fair for you to feel this way. Being in a relationship is hard work, and sometimes can be draining because now you\u2019re a unit.
\nI think communication, honesty and support are the most important things in a relationship. From what you\u2019ve said, I assume you\u2019ve supported him as much as you can, and I don\u2019t mean financially. Sometimes the support isn\u2019t enough, if he, himself, can\u2019t find motivation to better his life. I can understand how much you want him to succeed, but no matter what you do, nothing will be enough until he decides his path and the process.
\nI think you need to communicate and be honest with your concerns. In my opinion, a relationship can\u2019t be a strong unit, if the individuals aren\u2019t strong by themselves. I know that life is about growing and evolving, but if he has a loss of motivation in the present, then it\u2019s hard to see if he will even make an effort to have a better future. I understand things happen unexpectedly in life, you have to make the best of it, but it\u2019s also about being proactive in life.
\nYou\u2019re right. You need to do what\u2019s best for you. Don\u2019t let his stress and his circumstances take over your life. Maybe a break would be an option to figure out what you both want in life, not just your relationship. Sometimes love has an expiration date, it\u2019s just knowing if you want to risk it or not.
\nI think it\u2019s time to be selfish, and do what you think is best for yourself. What\u2019s supposed to happen will happen. I think you should trust yourself, if you don\u2019t see him as your future anymore, then maybe it\u2019s time to go on another path. As clich\u00e9 as it may sound, just let him know it\u2019s for you to focus on bettering your life. <\/p>\n
With love,
\nGabby <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Gabby, This is confused soul; I have been battling my change of heart and emotions with my current boyfriend. We unexpectedly met on New Year\u2019s Eve. The moment we met each other we instantly clicked and felt a spark between us. We ended up pursuing a relationship where things started off easy and fun, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3693,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[2030],"class_list":["post-11444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tartan-news","tag-gabrielle-sharp"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"cc_featured_image_caption":{"caption_text":false,"source_text":false,"source_url":false},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5s3vR-2YA","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3693"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11444"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11447,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11444\/revisions\/11447"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sinclairclarion.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}