Conan O’Brien shakes up late night

The spring might have been out of his step Tuesday night, but Conan O’Brien pulled no punches during the ill-fated “The Tonight Show.”

In addition to using false subtitles to show world leaders comparing NBC’s late-night lineup changes to a “dutch oven,” O’Brien also featured show writer Deon Cole, who compared the controversy to “a pimp trying to keep its hoes.”  Specifically, Cole claimed Leno was a “bottom (longest tenured) hoe,” Conan was a “pretty hoe,” Jimmy Fallon was a “young hoe” and Carson Daly was a “freak hoe.”

Also featured during the monologue was Howie Mandel, who presented O’Brien with six “Deal or No Deal” style cases containing post-Tonight Show career options.  O’Brien chose case six, which contained two tickets to see Jay Leno perform stand-up comedy at the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas.

Tom Brokaw, who called himself “the news hoe,” was O’Brien’s first guest of the evening.  Brokaw joked about the NBC family, playfully describing it as a dysfunctional group, and said it would not be the same without O’Brien.

Zachary Levi, star of the NBC show “Chuck,” was initially invited on the show because of his role in the movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.”  However, he preempted the interview in order to tell O’Brien how he felt about the late-night shakeup.

“I want to say some things before the plug is officially pulled, and what I want to say is everyone at ‘Chuck,’ myself, millions of people, all agree that you are one of the funniest, one of the kindest, one of the classiest acts to ever grace late night, and one of the prettiest hoes as well.”

Country artist Rosanne Cash completed the guest line-up, performing her Grammy-nominated song “Sea of Heartbreak.”

O’Brien closed the show by saying “I’ll see you tomorrow, I think.  Good night!”

O’Brien wasn’t the only one to poke fun at NBC Tuesday night.  A commercial for “Saturday Night Live” featured Bill Hader telling host Sigourney Weaver to run away because NBC wanted to move SNL to 2 a.m.  Even CBS late-night host Craig Ferguson joined in the fun, calling NBC a bunch of liars.

“You know what they should do with all the late-night hosts?  Line them up in front of Simon Cowell and let America text who they like,” he said.

Earlier Tuesday O’Brien released a statement in which he made clear that he would not continue to host “The Tonight Show” at the 12:05 a.m. time slot, saying that he would not participate in what he believed to be the show’s destruction.  His full statement can be read here.