Here’s Henry: Learn How to Drive

   So last semester I wrote a nice little tongue in cheek article called “Learn How to Walk,” describing parts of proper walking etiquette in the narrow hallways of Sinclair.

   They were legit gripes I had after several semesters of giving death glares to people that would come to a complete stop in the middle of the hallway. Things that you’ll take with you to the office building where you’ll do grown up work.

   Now, here comes the sequel, describing the proper way to maneuver two ton vehicles through the crowded menagerie of other cars, big trucks, motorcycles, bicycles and unattentive pedestrians of Sinclair Community College.

   The first and most pressing matter is the parking garage that contains the walkway to buildings 3, 4 and 14.

   I straight up refuse to drive in that deathtrap and have been parking in the lot by building 13 since the beginning of last semester due to almost getting into screaming matches and fistfights with people unaware of how to drive in a parking garage.

   These bouts of anger came when drivers would come to a complete stop at the top of a ramp, even though they have the right of way. Or when someone tries to drive past the ramp when I’m clearly coming up and can be seen.

   Then there are people that go the completely wrong way through a floor. These lanes are only one way, and there are signs above and arrows on the ground explicitly telling you which way to go. It’s not rocket science.

   Yet, when I go the right way and someone going the wrong way is approaching me, I’m at fault? I get dirty looks for driving properly?

   But let’s talk about parking now. It’s a necessary evil. It can be as easy as just moving your car forward and fitting it between two lines, or as hard as trying to finagle your huge suburban between two cars in the only spot available on the 3rd floor (I had to do that my first year).

   It can be a pain but there are some etiquette rules that might keep someone from keying, punching, putting vaseline over the door handles or flicking condoms filled with ranch onto your car.

   If you see a car, especially if it’s a nice one, parked somewhere far out in an area don’t park right next to it. Obviously, if there aren’t any other available parking spots, then it’s ok.

   People park that far away to keep their nice things nice, as people are prone to cause door dings or other damages.

   Also, for the love of God, park inside the lines. They are there for a reason. You inconvenience everyone around you if they can’t park in the two or three spots you’re taking up.

   Don’t be that jackwagon in a huge pickup truck that parks right in the middle of two spaces. Or diagonal across four spaces (I saw that at Walmart once).

   Finally, accidents happen. It’s not uncommon to back into another parked car, or take out someone’s mirror or smash a headlight.

   I did it to someone. I felt like a dummy, but it was also within my first year of driving.

   Whatever you do, don’t hit and run. One, there are cameras everywhere and on a busy campus like Sinclair, someone will see you and write down your plate number. You will most likely get caught.

   Two, it’s just a jerk move. Someone is going to have to pay out of pocket for damages you caused, and that’s not how you treat your fellow man.

   Luckily the one time I was backed into at Sinclair the person was kind enough to call their insurance and leave a note on my car. They did the right thing and are a shining example of how to own up to your mistakes.

   On another note, it is February, and it is snowing. We get snow and ice during this time and when it happens, it seems that everyone just forgets everything they’ve learned about driving.

   I mean come on people, we live in Ohio! We should be used to this by now, sometimes it snows in October when the weathermen feel we need to be punished!

   When there is snow on the ground, it means you don’t act like Spongebob during his boating exam and floor it. You drive at a reasonable speed.

   And reasonable is flexible, depending on how much snow and ice there actually is. Usually, the guy going 50 miles per hour and the granny going 15 are both wrong. Go with what you’re comfortable with, but be considerate of others at the same time.

   Stay in the slow lane if you aren’t comfortable going at the speed everyone else does. There’s no shame in that.

   Most importantly, stay calm. People panicking and trying to overcorrect is how their axles are destroyed. Start your brakes much earlier than you normally would.

   If everyone kept their composure and stopped freaking out when the snow hit, we’d have fewer accidents during these winter months.

   In all seriousness, cars are a privilege we all use to get around, but we do take it for granted. They could cause a decent amount of death and destruction if they aren’t used with tact and reverence.

   So while I may have made some jokes or complained about some things in a light hearted manner, it is important to be careful and considerate of others when on our campus commute, as a lot of money and human life is on the line every time we start up that engine.

Henry Wolski
Executive Editor

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